Pointless Introduction
Hello, all. My name is Courtney, and you are (duh) reading Defenestration, my first e-zine. I hope that you are enjoying it, and even more than that, I hope that it is making you think or making you laugh. I also hope that this becomes a regular section, where I can rant/rave about whatever is floating around in my mind. In a thoughtless act of ripping off some dead guy, I have titled it

Do As I Say, Not As I Do
The Part of Defenestration Where Courtney Rants and People Ignore Her

Hello, all! Today we are going to discuss subcultures. What, you ask, are these subcultures? Where may I purchase one? Do they come with warranties? And are they popular? I shall answer these questions and many more here, in the slickly-produced cyberpages of Defenestration.

Odds are that you either
a) currently belong to a subculture, or
b) once belonged to a subculture, before you entered the adult world of income taxes.

Subcultures are how we define ourselves. They determine how we dress, speak, act, and make major purchases. Some major subcultures include:

• Goth
  Goths usually wear black and lots of scary jewelry, sometimes including plastic fangs and chains. They sometimes have black hair, too. You can never wear enough black, if you're a goth. Scary is big. So is melancholy. You probably listen to The Cure, Bauhaus, or maybe Nine Inch Nails. Most goths, depsite the scary appearance, are actually very nice, intelligent people. I swear. The dog collar doesn't make the person. Personally, I think goth is rather alluring. ;-)
  
  
• Punk
  Punks usually have hair of an abnormal color, such as green, blue or pink. It is frequently spiked, or sometimes missing entirely. Punks are also big on chains, not to mention safety pins, buttons, and ripped clothing. Punks like loud, fast, punk music, like The Ramones, Agent Orange, and The Clash. Some punks are straight edge, and don't drink, do drugs, or eat meat. Punks are generally nice, although they tend to have a "punk attitude."
  
  
• Raver
  Ravers hang out at raves, which are big all-night dance parties in big fields. They usually do ecstasy. Ravers are known for liking electronica music, such as Chemical Brothers or The Prodigy. Pullover sweatshirts with hoods are big, as well as wrap-around sunglasses. They generally aren't even scary-looking, much less intimidating.
  
  
• Prep
  This is by FAR the scariest subculture. Preps hang out at the MALL (the one thing that scares Marylin Manson) and go SHOPPING for BRIGHTLY COLORED CLOTHING. They listen to WHATEVER THE TOP FORTY COUNTDOWN mandates, and wear WHATEVER IS ON MTV. You could control all of them by taking over these mediums. If you are ever unfortunate enough to encounter a prep, throw your arms in the air and run away screaming at the top of your lungs.
  
  
• Nerd
  If you are a nerd, you wear shirts that have buttons up the front and collars, and listen to classical music, as well as other stuff. You actually comb your hair, brush your teeth, and occasionally eat breakfast.
  

Now that I have covered some basic subcultures (there are far more, but I cannot think of them off of the top of my head), we shall discuss the pros and cons of joining one.
Pros
If you join a subculture, you have a set group of people to hang with, a clothing uniform, and a list of CDs to buy. You have nothing to worry about, except getting beat up by enemy subcultures.
Cons
If you are not in a subculture, you actually have the chance to be an individual. You can mix and match clothing. You can flip through the radio stations. You can even go wreak havoc at the local mall, but I draw the line at shopping there. I personally believe that everyone should test their limits. Be in a subculture if you must, but be you. If you are a nerd, but think scarification looks cool, go for it. If you're a goth, but like Ravel, buy the CD. Eat meat; don't eat meat. Create your own subculture. Maybe oneday everyone on MTV will look like you.

©1999 Courtney

If you read this and did not catch the satirical quality, either I suck or you are a rock. :)