Have you ever wondered exactly what ever happened to Rachel Quest?
Are you suspicious of the Quest/Bannon Family's unusual living arrangements?
Ever wondered why Race ALWAYS wears red, and S2 Jessie has an unusual fondness for pink?

Search no further!

I, Sister Brick, loyal follower of Master Rage, with the help of my insane brothers and sisters, as well as various members of the ML, have come to the conclusion that

RACE BANNON IS REALLY RACHEL QUEST!


Do you want proof? I have PLENTY of proof.
  1. You have never seen Race Bannon and Rachel Quest in the same place at the same time.
  2. S1 Race bears a very strong resemblence to Grandpa Doug, Rachel's father. Compare "Nuclear Netherworld" and "To Bardo and Back." Ranch, rodeo. Southern-fried accent, Southern-fried accent.
  3. Jessie wants to be a world-famous scientist, just like Benton. Jonny loves adventure, just like Race.
  4. Race was blond, Jonny is blond. S2 Benton has red hair, Jessie has red hair.
Sister Yaoi, aka LesliWeird, who is, I believe, the originator of the theory, is so convinced that she composed a poem. Behold.



Brady Bunch
by LesliWeird


It's the story, of a lovely lady,
With two children and a husband scientist
But she never really liked being a woman
So an operation changed Rachel Quest

It's the story, of Doc's new bodyguard
Who suspicously came once she left
They never told the kids the whole truth
That Race Bannon is really Rachel Quest

So now Jonny spends his days in therapy
And Jessie is a nun in Peru
If your dad was a transexual
Wouldn't you be having problems too?



LesliWeird
Sorry, but I couldn't resist

1997 Leslianne Wilder



See? If you aren't convinced now, go home and watch every episode of JQTRA and CJQ that you can get your paws on. Now. So sayeth the Book of Rage.

If you have any contributing evidence, or want to comment, please send all mail to chfmitchel@hotmail.com.


Click here to join Rage's growing legions.



Click here to see lots of pretty pictures of Master Rage.